Tuesday, October 30, 2018

I Am A MUTT


Through a, well worth the payment, to a genealogy website it has now been scientifically proven that I am a MUTT!!

If you are African American, your history can be a bit of a mystery.  There are those family stories of third- or fourth-hand accounts of how your great, great, great, great grandparent was a full-blooded this or that.  Funny, how it is never usually full-blooded African…. This is AMERICA!! (in my Childish Gambino voice). 
As a woman who loves learning, I came to a decision to learn about myself.  I ordered a DNA genealogy test.
I placed my order and not even a week later, received a tiny box with everything I needed to discover my lineage.
Instructions- CHECK
Plastic return envelope- CHECK
Small plastic vial- CHECK
You would not believe just how difficult it is to fill such a small vial with what seems like an obscene amount of spit!  Either Maury Povich is doing it wrong or the DNA genealogy people are subject to overkill.  As I tried to conjure up more saliva, unfortunately a flashback to the Henrietta Lacks story crept in.  I glanced down at the now half-filled vial and threw some side-eye, completely aware that fear is just False Evidence Appearing Real.  So I sidetracked the thoughts with Psalms 118:6- “The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?” and continued to fill the vial. 
Finally filled to the ‘not too much, not too little’ capacity line, I added the cap, gave it a twist until it dropped the blue liquid and gave it a little shake.  Done!
I’m not sure why but I did not trust handing my saliva filled plastic bag to my house mail carrier.  So, I drove eight miles to the post office and handed the bag off to the other mail carrier behind the counter. Yeah, I know! SMH!  But as I walked out of the post office, I was so excited about what the results would be.
Everyday it seemed like I would get another email.
“We saw you mailed your package.”
“Your package is in transit.”
“We have received your package.”
“Your DNA specimen has arrived.”
“We are processing your DNA.”
Then total silence, continued silence, and more silence!!  Here comes Henrietta Lacks again, just as immortal as ever.  This time Psalms 56:3- “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”  Yep, that got rid of Henrietta.  Of course, HE heard me because a day or two later the final email arrived.
“You may now view your DNA results.”
OMG-it felt like a cross between Christmas and please let this pregnancy test be INSERT HERE.  I clicked the link and there it was……MY story.
I was not terribly surprised by the larger percentages of my Her-story.  24% Ivory Coast/Ghana, 22% Benin/Togo, etc.  It was the smaller percentages that made me giggle.  7% Europe West (no wonder I love Paris), 3% Ireland/Scotland/Wales, then down at the very bottom of my results……<1% European Jewish.  Not only am I a mutt but I’m a mutt of God’s chosen people.  {Insert imaginary fist bump with Jesus here} 
What has completing my DNA genealogy done?  I now wear my title of African American with more certainty and extremely proud.  Yes, that acknowledges that I am a descendant of slaves both African and Jewish.  It also acknowledges I am a descendant of SURVIVORS both African and Jewish!  Knowing all MY facts allows me to walk just a little bit sassier.  I look at my mirrored reflection with more understanding.
Yes, my results do make me a mixed breed mutt.  But how many can say I am mixed breed African Queen of GOD mutt!!  Take that Kanye!!

Side note:  I also have about 500 first to fourth cousins to share any lottery winnings with......Heyyyyy Cousin!!! (obscure Black Panther reference)


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