Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Am I Ready For Marriage??

My favorite guilty pleasure TV shows is “Married At First Sight”. 
The premise of the show is experts in spirituality, sexuality, and relationships meet with groups of men and women who have volunteered to be a part of the show.  The experts then, based on a series of interviews and interactions, match the couples to be married sight unseen. 
The matched couple goes through the process of planning their nuptials by buying a gown, tuxedo, and rings.  They select bridesmaids and groomsmen.  They also go through the process of writing marital vows.  But they never lay eyes on each other until the day they meet at the altar.    
Of course, arranged marriages are as old as time itself.  Adam and Eve were totally set up by God (the ultimate matchmaker) and were married as soon as Adam “woke up”!!  Yes, there were some things Adam and Eve had to work through.  Eve was not a good listener and maybe a bit bossy.  Adam was an intellectual (He did name all the animals) but he was also a push over instead of being the head of the household. 
So, in watching this show every week, I questioned if I would be able to marry a stranger at first sight.  After some thought, my answer would be absolutely! 
Some things I learned from going through a divorce, is firstly, we go THROUGH it.  There is an end to the stress and emotions experienced when divorcing.  It does not last forever.  Secondly, it is possible to actually live with someone and not really know them even after years.  Thirdly, and my most important lesson learned is I survived.  During the process, I did not believe I would but when I reached the end, there I was standing strong.  No conqueror knows they are a conqueror until the fight is over. 
It’s learning those lessons that leads me to believe I could marry someone through an arranged marriage process.  Just as couples can marry and grow out of love, they can marry and grow in love.
So, don’t be surprised if one day my blog post is, “Guess what everyone?!? I’s married now (in my best Sug Avery voice)”.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

A Change IS Going to Come!!

Here we are again, mid January, and another social media challenge has risen.  If you are not a user of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Pinterest (please move from under the rock J) and are not aware the challenge is the #10yearchallenge. 
The challenge is stimulating everyone to post a picture collage on a social media outlet that reflects a photo from ten years ago (2009) and one from this year. The test is to see how much or how little you have changed over that ten-year time frame.  This got me to thinking……
What exactly is wrong with change?
When I run into someone I haven’t seen in while and they say Wow you have changed!!  I say, “Thank You”!!  I consider it a large compliment.
We should always want to be growing and improving ourselves, this involves change.
Years ago, when the Oprah Winfrey Show was running.  She had a show where this couple had not changed their hairstyle in over twenty years.  They were still sporting their big metal band rocker styles from high school.  All their friends and family were in mutual agreement that change was needed.  But the couple themselves were very content with remaining the way they looked when had combination lockers and dressed out for P.E.  It took them being summoned to Oprah and seeing the audience’s tremendous reaction to understand change can be good!
Ten years ago, I was going through a horrendous divorce which caused a large depressive episode.  I was sad and not taking care of my mind, body, or spirit.  Thank God for change!!
Fast forward ten years to what can surely be called one of the happiest times in my life.  Healthy in body, mind and spirt.  Discovering, learning, growing and blooming into a woman who in capable of love and being loved.  Basically, as Lil Duval says, “Living my best life”!  All due to embracing the ability to change.
So, my challenge to you is to go ahead and pull out those ten-year-old pictures but instead of comparing how little change has occurred, I challenge you to discover how MUCH change has taken place!!

Fine, Fine!!  Just to keep you quiet, you can see how much I have changed! J